Stop Searching for Happiness

We all want to be happy, right? And we think we know what makes us happy. I know what you are thinking: Happy = beer; and Unhappy = running out of beer. But, you might be surprised at some of the recent scientific research into what makes humans happy - and unhappy. There was an interesting article on this subject in The IDEAS section of a recent Boston Globe.

Most of us would assert that the pursuit of happiness is a constitutionally guaranteed right, despite the nagging feeling that other people are having more fun than we are. Even when something good happens, like a lottery hit, or we get something we have always wanted, the feeling of euphoria does not last very long. Delight fades to mere satisfaction, which starts to rust almost immediately. Before we know it, we start to develop a new goal/dream/desire to add to our "To Do/Wish" list.

Dissatisfaction with the status quo is a common aspect of human nature. I believe it has been adequately explained by Abraham Maslow' s theory of human motivation - The hierarchy of needs - which everyone studied in college (Psychology 101). The pursuit of happiness is an ongoing process, because the things that make us happy keep changing.

No, we are not just talking about the pleasure one finds in strips of crisp bacon on buttered toast in the morning, or the ecstasy a frosty Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on a warm afternoon sitting on a screen porch with a Macanudo cigar and a good spy novel. These are immutable moments of happiness, but sadly, they end all to soon.

The happiness we are talking about here is a lasting state of being. The research as discussed in the Ideas article shows that people are not very good at predicting what will bring them lasting happiness. The new boat or a bigger house usually involve unintended effects that diminish the sense of satisfaction. For example: moving to a bigger house may involve a migration to exurbia which entails a longer commute. The research seems to indicate that the unhappiness introduced by a longer, unpleasant commute seems to overshadow the joy of a bigger bathroom.

The ultimate determining factor of those who self report a sense of happiness is having a social network. (Maybe I need to reactivate my Facebook account.) Family, friendship, people to talk to - these are what make the difference.

So, there it is. Stop wasting your time trying to "be happy". You are doomed to never be totally satisfied. Go out and talk to your neighbors and call your mother.

The other side of this research is kind of interesting, too. People who ought to be very unhappy because they have suffered terrible trauma (such as loss of limbs or eyesight) seem not to be as bad off as we would predict. (read the article)

In other words, we suck at predicting the impact of future events of our state of being. In a 2006 survey, the Pew research org did a survey on happiness that is worth your review. You can google it.

By the way, the pursuit of happiness was a phrase from the Declaration of Independence not the Constitution. But you already knew that didn't you?

All this scholarship makes me thirsty. But, I seem to be out of beer :-(
Good thing I am friendly with the neighbors...